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#StoryTime Being overly blessed with my fair share of impatience and anger issues this post is brought to you by Digicel. So there I was...and then there I wasnt.

Anyway Ive made a few posts with regards to digicel's internet speeds (Not even ago capitalize dem name cause mi a hothead) over the last two days zeen and them reply to the first post then it all went down in my dms. Anyway them ask a one or two question with what i would imagine is pertinent information to resolving my problem. I reply wqith a swiftness FLASH WHO?! Them reply and then; there I was... then there they werent. Im like Bruh? Where the help at? So i make another post cause like i said in the last status update before this, im a sick piece of human flesh. They jump down in my dms again and the same thing happen. So im like whut? So then its like some scarface shit "You come to me in your time of need asking me for a favour..." Not really but yeah. I post up a Haiku (google it) and i tag them cause again im fancy. and then they jump down in my dms... AGAIN! asking me questions... THEN!! (Heres the kicker) they hop on the post I made and tell me to move my correspondences to my dm... BRUH... WHUUUUT!!!! I bees in my dms cause you know I gots ta internet! So i reply with an okay cause im a smooth sir. im smoother than the lyrics your pops used to snag your moms son. (Why mi sound so white?) anyway there I am waiting for them to send me some sort of reply.... .Not a ting!

 And they have the nerve... the AU-DA-CI-TY!! To tell me to not loud up mi mouth (paraphrasing) on teh internet! I have lost the ability to Can... I Cant with Digicel. I cawnt!!!


The End..... For Now... Yes mi dutty mi know but mi wha mi internet fi function correctly

Fun fact. The second i was going to click the Post button A wild message appeared! Will Update!!! :D

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     Onto the story. So mi lef rerk zeen and me and three chicas walking into mandeville from megamart (coworkers) I wont tell you what her name is but Legendarii Gyol Jojo decided she wanted to have a sound clash with the great moi! So be overly blessed with my fair share of awesome I accepted and sealed her fate. Clash a gwaan nice enuh and mi draw fi wha alkaline tune and mi done her wicked! (A my story so a me win, although mi win either way you tek it) So mi nuh member a wha dem start do pan dem phone zeen but dem did inna it and mi still deh listen tune. So hennyway a sound appeared out of nowhere and you wha see DJ Legendarii and the other two a tek off down the sidewalk like a any track meet dem a run a champ! Put usain bolt to shame a swur! A mussi dem birth him! So come to find out is a man buss a badman cough and dem could manage di surprise. While me deh deh a walk calm cool and collected like a sir.

     Now dem all the way at the end of the sidewalk enuh and look back the man stand up a look pan di whole a we and them tek off again a shout out how him a come back fi dem! XD A nurly dead! XD! All the while the man just deh deh a laugh to himself bout how him cough frighten dem. The End enuh!  Short and sweet. Still nah tell unuh wha she name though  I should also note a di second time mi write this cause facebook freeze up and a try gwaan bad like say it nuh wha mi tell unuh no bedtime story tssk lol. The things i do for you people. Adios!



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     Ok so for anyone who is on my Facebook friends list who reads this blog the next few posts will be posts made on my Facebook timeline already. Im simply tranferring the content to this page for easier access. This update has been brought to you by #Storytime. Where I have a bad day so you dont have to! ;) 

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     So MI mek a likkle side step crab style to the other machine because this one obviously broken. Beep Beep boop MI touch couple button again. Cause like I said, straight g! Damn machine come cuss bad word bout this function is not available at this time so apparently them a play good cop bad cop. So me decide say alright later MI roll through and deal wid it wicked. Zeen. Go through the day and all that jazz. Work done now. Step out ready fi go make the drop again. See one car park up and the guardsman truck. So MI say cool short waiting time. 30 minutes later (SpongeBob narrator voice) the damn claffy dem whe did inside still deh in deh a do god knows what! Now if u nuh know me then u nuh know say more while MI impatient and MI have a short fuse. The thing is this enuh. The bank have this feature where it's 24/7 so obviously there's a section you can go at all hours of the day to do your deeds. So they leave a thing where you run you hand over a thing to unlock the door. But once you're inside and you stand in front of a sensor the door won't open for anyone else because security. 

     Anyways go back half an hour and I rope een see the people but decide to try my luck cause from where I was it didn't seem that they were in front of said sensor. No dice. But di dirty girl whe did in deh well and see me enuh she and the two John crow whe did in deh wid her. Now one of the reasons why this poss me off is as I said a two machine Inna di place and the little shots were using one! When one a dem done the next one go. There's Two machines! If them nah use it move unno claat mek me use it! Half hour me a wait and them in deh a tek time like a funeral procession dem deh pan! And the dutty. Rawse them in deh a giggle like say a dem one wha use the damn atm! You know how me bringle! Tssssk. So MI just walk off. And a when MI walk off the little shit them decide say them done. The eye MI give them woulda mek the devil sweat a swear! Fast forward bout 10 minutes and MI buck up Inna a bredrin whe MI did owe a food. MI end up pay him that still so it sorta work out but MI still cross cause MI coulda draw the money off a next card at a next atm give him if anything. Tssssk. The end

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So you know I had a story to tell you all but I cant remember it.... Its a pity!!! In other news mi have aneda story fi talk (it nuh that interesting but #StoryTime) XD. So boom scenario zeen. Mi go a rerk and mi phone battery NOICE (only deh bout 83% but a basically 100 right?) Anywho, mi deh rerk and battery full, so mi go so boom sign in I phone and lock it off but mi usually lef it on anyway without problem. So go so now boom lunch time (obviously some time passed between time of signing in and lunch time, Keep up) when I turn on and pree I phone it a tell me seh a only 23% lef pan di battery.... Mi confused ya now enuh. So you know seh mi lock it off right? Anyway g'womin time ("go homing" Keep up!) and mi lock on phone again, it seh 22% zeen so mi seh alright mi ago buss a badman text (mi did a go text a friend of mine) when mi go so boom and send message, to this DAY the message nuh send, so mi go so boom call number/ As the phone start fi kiss mi ears mi hear the samsung lock off sound. Dem time ya mi confused enuh cause mi battery Obvioucly a wabble! So mi pull out and put back the battery cause that usually use to work pan some a mi other phone dem, not a claat battery a tell i 0%. So mi lock it off. Anywho mi seh mi ago gwome ya now cause mi cant go link le female so mi go so boom ATM cause money spose to send.... NO MONEY!!! Hi bex! mark you a just bout 5:30 dem time ya enuh. So hennyway mi go so boom Barber cause mi face did look kinda rugged. Boom face clean up ya now and go so again ATM! NO MONEY! Who bex like me??? bout 6 30 ya now enuh. So mi go so boom walk go uptown cause im fancy like that and seh ATM! Long rass line! BEX BUCK! So mi deh wait and wait and wait. Finally ATM! MONEY REACH!!!! Who glad like me!. Then I bout some bickle and came home and typed this while eating. The end :)

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     Hey guys. Its me again. This may or may not sound a bit cliche to you guys but, lately I have been thinking about where my life is going right now. Honestly speaking I don't like the direction its going in. I'm generally a cool, jovial guy but right now I think I need to "serious up" a bit.