Elysium, I am Disappoint

     So... dat Elysium though??? Yeah, I was hyped at the previews but I was sorely let down. Typically I'm more often than not correct when it comes to judging a movie from the review but this time was a definite let down. I sort of feel almost as bad as how I felt watching Battleship. Only difference is I KNEW battleship was shit before watching it. Lets get on with it then shall we.




     So movie is basically about a guy that just wants to live. That's it, that's the movie. He basically works in a factory and got caught in a radiation treatment chamber and was told that he had 5 days to live. The only way to change his fate however lies a couple thousand Kilometres away in space on a man mad space Habitat dubbed (you guessed it) Elysium. Apparently technology in a little over a hundred years from now allows for someone to lie on a bed, have a little scanner scan you, detect whatever sickness you have and cure you. Cool huh??? Yeah. So anyway, dude dons an Exoskeleton (Which SHOULDN'T work) and tries to earn his way up there. The people in charge weren't about that life though so shit went down, people died and people lived. Like seriously there is no good way to explain this at all.... The movie sucked End of review.

     Now the only thing that kept me personally interested was that battle armour (Exo Suit) he put on. I was just looking at it from start to finish and it made no sense. I understand what they were trying to achieve but that "Suit" was just not properly designed. Think about it with me ok. The main dude Max, was after putting it on, able to punch a droid and rip its head off that's the first thing. Now think about this, if you look at the rigging carefully, there was nothing covering his hands. By hands I mean fingers, palm etc. If I'm not mistaken a robot is built strong and thus no normal human grip could withstand punching one much less having the finger strength to sustain the necessary grip to pull its head off.  Second thing, the evil dude, that russian sounding motherfucker, he put on a more advanced (but still basically the same thing) version. This dude jumped 15-25 feet in the air and landed no problem. Again same issue, this thing just went down his legs but it didn't cover his feet. There is nothing to absorb the shock from that. He shouldn't be able to just stand up and pretend like he's fine right after. Now sure maybe he has exceptionally strong feet and maybe I'm wrong but seriously what are the odds. Or maybe I'm just over thinking it who knows.

     All things said and done I give Elysium a NO!/10 just no. Some may call it a guilty pleasure movie just for the boom boom and pew pew aspect of it.




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