Dating: Long Distance Relationships

     Hey there readers, this post is for the young long distance lovers scattered across the earth and throughout the cosmos... Well maybe not the cosmos but definitely across the planet earth. I'm sure quite a few of you who are reading this have at some point gone through one of these kinds of relationships or had a friend or relative entwined in one. How did it work out for them??? Do you think you would ever resort to being in one? Well what are we waiting for? Lets find out then.
     Before we begin however I have a song which you will most likely enjoy:

Long Distance - Brandy ft Bruno Mars

(I went through so many different videos and the embedding was disabled, couldn't bother to change back to the original so yeah...)

     Now that your ears are in love allow me to attempt to serenade your mind. To kick things off we first need to grab a definition for what a long distance relationship is. So lets break it down a bit:

Long: Of considerable length

Distance:  An amount of space between two things or people. Level of separation

Relationship: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.

     A long-distance relationship (LDR) is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance. So now we are starting to get somewhere. Lets for the arguments sake take a look at a Rubber-band....for arguments sake right. You that it is flexible to a certain extent, but once you try to push things just a little too far that rubber band will break right??? Its the same thing when it comes to these long distance relationships. The relationship is in essence the rubber-band and the force that is pushing and pulling on it is the distance. You guys with me so far??? If you are then lets continue, the following was what one of my friends told me as his view on LDR's:

Long distance relationships are testament to human empathy and love. I have been in a bad one and am currently in a very good one. Like any relationship no two are exactly the same. I suppose the only real difference is that you learn to love someone objectively an subjectively simultaneously. The level of communication is intimacy at its most communicative and you really really get to know someone. Trust is too big a factor. You cant under or overestimate it. It has to be just right. It has to be an exact science. LDR's are different from other relationships but are nonetheless less precious or dangerous.
     Sounds accurate right??? Of course it does because its true. Long distance relationships are some of the hardest relationships to maintain, and make work. But can be some of the most fulfilling and rewarding relationships if and when they are done right. In order to make these types of relationships work both parties have to be on the same page from the beginning. Both parties must know what to expect from each other, and both parties must be willing to keep things "spicy" and interesting as much as possible in order to keep the flame of the relationship lit. Otherwise it just wont last very long

     At first glance, a long-distance relationship appears full of excitement, but the stress of dealing with the unknown, and putting one’s life on hold until you’re together again can cause all sorts of health upsets, both emotionally and physically. Distance can sour these relationships when even one missed phone call sets off all sorts of suspicion and worry. As a result, trust and commitment issues grow unchecked, and unhealthy obsessive behaviour such as leaving repetitive phone messages can be unleashed. If you notice these things happening, there’s a problem, It tends to escalate. If one person gets needy, the other might distance themselves. One might have doubts whether this relationship is right for them. So now that you all have the basic gist of what a Long Distance Relationship is and what makes it work basically, I will now give you some of the Pros and Cons of said relationships.

Pros & Cons


1.) Since you don’t see each other often, you are more likely to be able to -in some instances- keep the fire (passion) under control. The symptoms of infatuation in the early stage are less severe than an average relationship. You are also less likely to confuse lust with love.

2.) You really get to know someone at a deep, meaningful level and the emotional bonding is strong. Many couples in a common relationship setting are merely “activity partners” during the courting stage. This is all they do: dine, wine, party, movies, and cuddle on the couch. They might see each other all the time but that doesn't mean they really know and understand each other deeply. In a long distance relationship, you spend hours doing nothing but communicating, which then leads to a deeper, more fulfilling relationship.

3.) Seeing that you are in fact IN an LDR, you learn to appreciate the precious moments you actually do get to spend with your special person and not take things for granted. Not the person you love or your relationship.

4.) The both of you can focus on self development/career building. One should never stop growing and learning. Being in a long distance relationship allows you to maintain an active lifestyle and engage in various exciting programs, which will only enrich your life and make you that more attractive and intriguing.

5.) You build a strong trust foundation for the relationship, which is crucial in any relationship. You learn how to control your jealousy and not let your great imagination run wild. If you realize you can’t trust that person, no matter how hard you try or want to, that simply means your relationship is unhealthy to begin with – long distance or short distance.


1.) Loneliness/emptiness. Yes, there will be tons of moments when you feel lonely and wish he/she was there with you, especially during those cold nights.

2.) Emotionally stressful. Obviously keeping a relationship alive across the miles is going to be  HARD WORK. Whoever tells you otherwise is a liar. 

3.) No physical intimacy. No hugs. No kisses. No holding hands. No cuddling in bed. No touch at all. Can you really survive?

4.) Misunderstandings and conflicts are often very challenging when they do happen. Or in some cases, they could even be irresolvable for days, weeks, or even months. Why? Imagine if he/she is upset with you and refuse to talk to you (won’t answer your calls, text messages or emails). Serious communication breakdown. What would you do? What could you do? You are miles away… It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

5.) You won’t be able to be there for each other during unpredictable events or crises, no matter how much you want to or wish to. Of course, you can always make arrangements to accommodate such situations. However, just keep the distance in mind – you won’t be able to be there for him/her immediately.

6.) Financial burden. Anticipate the high phone bills. And also, transportation funds to see your sweetheart, in person.

Final Words

     So in a nutshell, LDR's are no laughing matter. Trust me I should know I've been in my fair share and they haven't worked for me yet. Guess I'll just stop chasing the long distance ones and search closer to home from now on. Anyway if they don't work for you maybe its just not meant to be OR maybe you both really weren't "In Love". On the matter of being in love however I'll save that for an upcoming post.

Source: (HeSays&SheSays)

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