Zombie Apocalypse: Are You Prepared?

Zombie Apocalypse
     So I had been on tumblr one fine night some months ago when the whole Zombie Apocalypse thing was the craze. One of my friends made a few posts about how to survive said disaster. So I saved the posts in drafts and just now decided to put them all together in one master post. He however seemed to have cleaned out every post on his blog so I had to do a little searching so to speak. So here it is with my own little spin on it.

What to do when the Shit of Metaphor Hits the Fan

Check List
     So it is a well known fact that when there is an impending disaster one makes the relevant preparations to survive right??? Well yes but many people tend to not prepare in the correct way. So here’s how you prepare when it comes to a Zombie Apocalypse... Jamaican Perspective

     The first thing you need to take into account is how you will move around. Obviously you cant get everywhere on foot. What you then need to do is Jack (Steal, Acquire) a Tundra or a Van. You need this for the mere fact that you can plow through any Zombie crowds with ease if the need arises. You will need two of them and eight wheels (spares)
     Take one van and work on it, customize it for the designated lunatic to drive and hit everything that seems dangerous because the lunatic will be kept occupied that way and you will come out alive. As for the other van go out and raid the place for Car Batteries and Gasoline as those are super essential you will see why later on. Once you have acquired these things you need to find a safe house up in the hills. Not at the top though because that's stupid and when they actually find you, you cannot go anywhere but through them and down…… and also make sure it has a basement you will also see why later.

     Once you have those three you are now ready to go and raid the supermarkets for the corn beef and bread and baked beans, you know, tin foods. Load them in the van store them in the basement.. keep repeating until you have enough to survive off of indefinitely. Next you need to raid a hospital; needles and syringes medical supplies, everything you can carry. Also try to recruit or take by force a doctor and a nurse as they are very essential.

     Head to your nearest Water Commission and get your hands on a few Water Trucks. You will need a minimum of four drivers to increase your rate of success. I don't think I really need to tell you the reason you need water trucks. Its probably already over for you if I do

     Back at the safe house you will use one or two houses down that hill as watch posts. During your raids you will ‘save’ people who will get you killed, you will use them as over watch with 1 hour minimum interval driving time between your main house and their house. You will give them radios and tell them the station and you will be constantly listening. These people you save are essential, they will be your labour for the simple fact that they will be in your debt.
     Since your safe house is in the mountain or hills, you have one or two routes minimum on and off. You will get those guys to cut a path that leads from BEHIND THE MAIN SAFE HOUSE to the road. The reason for this is if it so happens that the zombies take the main road and swarm the house you will have a means of escape.

Vehicles and Weapons

Armoured anti Zombie vehicle
     This is your vehicle list. You will need a Truck to move the food when time comes and the generators and batteries a second truck for if you take on too many ’survivors’ and wish to be a paragon. I for one will not be a paragon in an apocalypse. You will NEED a performance car, don't skimp on this. Why? You can use performance cars to get in and out quickly when doing light raids give this to the aforementioned Designated Lunatic". You will never get caught unless you're an idiot in which case you will just get left behind. The two initial vans because they are heavy duty will, as we previously stated, move shit out the way. As a bit of foresight, install custom bush bars and spikes and paint a name on the side (your heavy duty vehicle NEEDS to have a name), a skull and the number 6. For sum reason 6 just seems appropriate... A brinks truck and a JDF tank or two and the plated 6 wheeled vans they used during Dudus escapade.

6 Wheeled Armoured Vehicle
     After all that. it is time to RAID JDF. They will more than likely be deployed to save the "Government Officials" or whatever they want to call themselves. The base therefore, even though most of the guns and ammo will be gone, should still have ample guns and ammo. So you gather those up and then carry them to the house. Store them securely but easily accessible by your team. Make sure you have at the very least three times the guns to the numbers of persons you raid with. For those of you not good with math like myself that simply means if it's Three people you should have at least nine guns for each of them and ample ammunition. Now you are armed and ready to kill people, so here is the next point. You ready for it???


DON'T PLAY LOUD MUSIC!!!!! They more than likely can and will be attracted to loud noises of any sort. So unless you have a death wish DON'T. When your raiding however music is quite fine. In fact it is highly recommended that you do. Here's why: When you guys go on a raiding run simply have the person in the performance car blast music to attract the Zombies. This will allow those who are going into the confined spaces to have it a bit easier. Music also makes everything seem... right, in that situation. I have provided some good Zombie Killing Music below. Have a listen.

     Moving on, You will NEED cold hearted people who shoot first ask questions later. They will always have your back when you least expect it. Unless your get on their wrong side, then at that point you're basically screwed. Now along with all the provisions you have stockpiled you will need certain "Skills" in your camp. The list of professions you need include A Mechanic or two for obvious reasons, lots of doctors and nurses as mentioned above (again for obvious reason). You will also need to have a pilot. The reasoning behind having a pilot is simply this; When Jamaica has been fully overrun with Zombies and you have nowhere else to go, you need to take your crew and head to the nearest airport. This of course is under the assumption that the epidemic has gone completely worldwide as yet. Moving on you will need a couple of car junkies that will drive over anything that needs to not be in the way in the same breath you will need other level headed drivers for the heavier vehicles carrying your goods and supplies.

Final Words

     Just so you know before hand, the following places will be “safe havens” and will be over run in a very short time. Stadium, Sovereign, UWI, Utech, some buildings in new Kingston. You don't want to go there

     Once the apocalypse hits us you need to avoid getting attached to anyone. If you're already with someone then fine cant really help that but otherwise DON'T. You're going to end up losing your life to save them in the long run if you get attached.

     Claim your vehicles from early on in the game don't waste time doing anything you don't need to. Any gas that you acquire is yours! Don't share it with anyone for any reason. If shit hits the fan then that gas may very well become your source of currency. Also while on the topic of gas try to acquire a Texaco Gas Truck.

DO NOT go near ANY government official buildings in the first few weeks or so. They will kill anything that moves. Finally DO NOT steal it will have no use to you and will just be an unneeded burden.

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