I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
- Roy Croft
The best thing about me is you.
- Shannon Crown
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.
- Anonymous
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a teardrop.
- Anonymous
If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.
- Anonymous
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me?
Birth > Childhood > Teenager > Adult > Job > Married > Kids > Retire > Grand Parent > Die That is the natural order but not always is this order followed.........
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
*Dear Wife:* *I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good **man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw.* *Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.* *Your EX-Husband* *P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!*
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." What type of bra?" asked the clerk. Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type? Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose from. Relieved, the man asked about the types. The saleslady replied: There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now; the man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
Suppose that everyday 10 men go to PJ's for lunch. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If it were paid the way we pay our taxes, the first four men would pay nothing; the fifth would pay $1; the sixth would pay $3; the seventh $7; the eighth $12; the ninth $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. The 10 men ate lunch in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20." Now lunch for the 10 would costs only $80. The first four are unaffected. They still eat for free. Can you figure out how to divvy up the $20 savings between the remaining six so that everyone gets his fair share?
A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together.
Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3.1 to GirlFriendPlus 1.0 (marketing name: Fiancee 1.0). Recently he upgraded Fiancee 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and it's a memory hogger, it has taken all his space; and Wife 1.0 must be running before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw and BrotherInLaw. Features available in the Upcoming GirlFriend 4.0: - A "Don't remind me again" button - Minimize button - Shutdown feature - An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4.0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects) I tried running GirlFriend 2.0 with GirlFriend 1.0 still installed, but they tried using the same I/O port and conflicted. Then I tried to uninstall GirlFriend 1.0 but it didn't have an uninstall program. I tried to uninstall it by hand, but it put files in my system directory. Another problem with all versions of GirlFriend that I've used is that it is totally object oriented and only supports hardware with gold plated contacts. ***** BUG WARNING ***** Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MS-Money files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming INSUFFICIENT RESOURCES
I call back because I care. Not to be annoying or look desperate, and hell if I'm desperate I'm just desperate for your love. I fight with you because I'm allowed. Nowhere in the world does it say I have to shut up and never express my feelings, disagreements are expected, how we handle them determines how long we're gonna make it. I defend you because I want to, not because it's what is expected of me. I didn't end up with you under any contracts, regulations, compromises, or settlements. I'm going to love you the way I want to, and that means protecting you by all means. I ignore you because I don't want to blow up on you. Not because I'm deliberately looking for ways to get back at you, and you KNOW that the silent treatment doesn't work very well with me, I always end up giving in to you. I give up my nights, days, weekends, and everything in between. Well, simple 'cause I love you.
Grandfather Paradox : Time travel is impossible as exemplified by the famous grandfather paradox. Imagine you build a time machine. It is possible for you to travel back in time, meet your grandfather before he produces any children (i.e. your father/mother) and kill him. Thus, you would not have been born and the time machine would not have been built, a paradox.
In my next life, I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, You get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila!
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out.
Valentine’s Gifts Men want
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Valentine’s Gifts Men want Valentine’s Gifts Men want
Howdy!, As you might know there are certain days that women feel strongly
about such as, birthdays, v...
How likely is it to restore the foreskin?
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Recovery is probably 100 per cent. Even thousands of years ago, people
practised this, but, of course, in the modern world, ways have changed and
become mu...
Those demons? I slayed them.
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Hiya!
It's been 2 good and proper years since I've written a blog, and 5 years
since I spoke on the demons that haunted me when I turned 25.
Well...they'...
The Best Lessons I Learned About Failing
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As it gets closer to the end of the year, it becomes a time for reflection
and examination. Looking back on the year that has passed and think about
our go...
Mortal Kombat X Video Game Review
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Final Verdict - Definitely Worth Playing
Sorry this review took so long but given the shaky release and variable
issues at launch I wanted to wait and gi...
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fear & guilt: constants I no longer use in the operation of my life.
fear divides capability & guilt multiplies concern in a way that ultimately
equals le...
The ‘Quarturian’ Effect
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“According to my Google search, the word ‘quarturian’ does not exist. I
hereby claim it as my own; quite befitting to describe my current
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Review - The Judge (2014)
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Starring Robert Downey Jr, Robert Duvall and Vera Farmiga.
Directed by David Dobkin.
Runtime: 2hrs 22mins
The Judge features a star-studded cast of Robert...
Nastronomical News
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I have been so very shy about sharing this news with you all. It feels like
now that I have decided to move on to the next chapter, a fear has set in
that ...
The Best Week Ever!
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If you fear getting overly jealous of the week I am about to tell you
about, I suggest you discontinue reading from this point. This has got to
be the bes...
Moments in order to survive.............
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In this world, people are always on their Ps and Qs about ways in which to
make it through another day. Whats going to happen to me today?? What ill
be abl...
Home Made Pizza Tutorial
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*This is my Home Made Pizza. Something My Aunt and I came up with a few
years ago. *
*It's Easy, Quick, Cheap and Delicious. It's a great idea if You want p...
Friends? ^_- ...^_^
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What is a* friend *anyway? Why is it that persons want so many of these so
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Does he NEED $$$ to love you ?
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Yes. Women love diamonds, the million dollar hair products or the fake hair
itself, the fancy dinners and UPT parties. They like to know that their
mate i...