Love, Sex....Lies????
The word "Love" has in recent times begun to be flung around without meaning and thus diffusing its worth and wealth of power. Love nowadays could be seen as the next fling you will see yourself having with you favourite fuck buddy or the nearest lonely girl you you find around.
There are Four (4) main types of love, these are Eros, Agape, Storge and Philia. These different types of love represent very different things, thus if we understand the meaning of such then we would then be able to hopefully manifest the ability to use the term in a suitable fashion with full meaning.
EROS (Sexual Love): The word Eros (derived from the greek word Erotas) simply means Intimate Love, this is also where the word Erotic originated. Most people experience this type of love many times in their life. It is when you see that person for the first time and he/she makes your knees go weak or gives you butterflies in your stomach.i.e. "Love at first sight”. Most people don’t even love the person they think they are in love with…they fall in love with the idea if being in love. This is more of a lustful kind of love, it wears off after a while and hopefully leads to Agape or Unconditional Love
This form of love (Eros) is the kind experienced between two (or more) people. This kind of love is not the kind suitable for building a strong, lasting and suitably beneficial relationship. Any relationship which starts out with the Eros Love is destined to fail, although on the rare instance you may have some which survive. This however as I already is extremely rare. If we associate the different types of love to a pyramid, Eros would be at the pinnacle of said pyramid. This is the topmost section. Hence beginning with the Eros or flipping the pyramid upside down would cause it to topple which is why it is very unwise for one to seek Eros first.
AGAPE Love: Agape is the Greek term for "Love" therein making Agape the most powerful for of love. It is the Unconditional love, meaning loving without requirement having love out of instinct, loving without ever having to be coerced into doing so. This is the sincere love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with. Nothing can destroy unconditional love. It is like when you have an argument or disagree about something with that person and you realize that it doesn’t bother you because the love you have for him/her overcomes everything.
In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "Eros". Agape is not limited to being held hostage by its environment and someone's perception. The reason why agape can soar above these is because it is based upon the commitment of a decision. It entails the decision to proactively seek someone's well-being. Since it is not a knee jerk reaction nor just a responsive feeling to how I've been treated, agape is capable of acting in a hostile environment where there are no warm fuzzy feelings. If it were not enough that the proactive nature of agape has the power to rise above its environment, it can also empower passion and friendship! For example, when a spouse chooses to speak and act toward the mate with agape, this creates the loving environment in which eros and philia can thrive! Although the proactive spouse might even perceive the other spouse as being unkind or rude, additional problems can be prevented by responding out of agape while the power of agape works at nurturing the growth of the other forms of love.
STORGE Love: Storge or Affectionate Love is something that everybody needs to survive. It is that feeling of being cared for and nurtured. Some people would describe this as the type of love parents have for their children. This is so important: high on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs; and studies have even proven that people have died of a "broken heart" (there have been no explanations for their deaths other than that).
PHILIA Love: This is the love of friendship, best friends, and the fellowship of being with those people you enjoy. Although philia is wonderful, it is not reliable since it is also held captive by the shifting of situations as well as by ours and other's perceptions and expectations. Unfortunately, we probably all know of a friendship which waned or was severed because of time, distance, harsh words, how someone interpreted another's actions, etc.
means friendship or brotherly love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
There are Four (4) main types of love, these are Eros, Agape, Storge and Philia. These different types of love represent very different things, thus if we understand the meaning of such then we would then be able to hopefully manifest the ability to use the term in a suitable fashion with full meaning.
EROS (Sexual Love): The word Eros (derived from the greek word Erotas) simply means Intimate Love, this is also where the word Erotic originated. Most people experience this type of love many times in their life. It is when you see that person for the first time and he/she makes your knees go weak or gives you butterflies in your stomach.i.e. "Love at first sight”. Most people don’t even love the person they think they are in love with…they fall in love with the idea if being in love. This is more of a lustful kind of love, it wears off after a while and hopefully leads to Agape or Unconditional Love
This form of love (Eros) is the kind experienced between two (or more) people. This kind of love is not the kind suitable for building a strong, lasting and suitably beneficial relationship. Any relationship which starts out with the Eros Love is destined to fail, although on the rare instance you may have some which survive. This however as I already is extremely rare. If we associate the different types of love to a pyramid, Eros would be at the pinnacle of said pyramid. This is the topmost section. Hence beginning with the Eros or flipping the pyramid upside down would cause it to topple which is why it is very unwise for one to seek Eros first.
AGAPE Love: Agape is the Greek term for "Love" therein making Agape the most powerful for of love. It is the Unconditional love, meaning loving without requirement having love out of instinct, loving without ever having to be coerced into doing so. This is the sincere love, the love that lasts forever. This kind of love comes when you have found the person you are destined to be with. Nothing can destroy unconditional love. It is like when you have an argument or disagree about something with that person and you realize that it doesn’t bother you because the love you have for him/her overcomes everything.
In Ancient Greek, it often refers to a general affection or deeper sense of "true love" rather than the attraction suggested by "Eros". Agape is not limited to being held hostage by its environment and someone's perception. The reason why agape can soar above these is because it is based upon the commitment of a decision. It entails the decision to proactively seek someone's well-being. Since it is not a knee jerk reaction nor just a responsive feeling to how I've been treated, agape is capable of acting in a hostile environment where there are no warm fuzzy feelings. If it were not enough that the proactive nature of agape has the power to rise above its environment, it can also empower passion and friendship! For example, when a spouse chooses to speak and act toward the mate with agape, this creates the loving environment in which eros and philia can thrive! Although the proactive spouse might even perceive the other spouse as being unkind or rude, additional problems can be prevented by responding out of agape while the power of agape works at nurturing the growth of the other forms of love.
STORGE Love: Storge or Affectionate Love is something that everybody needs to survive. It is that feeling of being cared for and nurtured. Some people would describe this as the type of love parents have for their children. This is so important: high on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs; and studies have even proven that people have died of a "broken heart" (there have been no explanations for their deaths other than that).
PHILIA Love: This is the love of friendship, best friends, and the fellowship of being with those people you enjoy. Although philia is wonderful, it is not reliable since it is also held captive by the shifting of situations as well as by ours and other's perceptions and expectations. Unfortunately, we probably all know of a friendship which waned or was severed because of time, distance, harsh words, how someone interpreted another's actions, etc.
means friendship or brotherly love in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality and familiarity. In ancient texts, philos denoted a general type of love, used for love between family, between friends, a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.
This is a love between yourself and someone that is totally honest, open and comfortable. You really only have this kind of bond with a few people. You might know a lot of people and be "friendly" with them in a group situation but they are not the best friends I am talking about here.
I have a theory that you can not truely be best friends with a member of the opposite sex. Down the line romance will always come up from either party and feelings will be misinterpreted and mistaken. When this happens, the friendship will change and possibly never be the same again.
Now most, or rather all of us have loved and have been loved at some point in our lives. Some have been lucky enough to have found their special person and are experiencing all the different forms of love in their lives. Kudos to you, Hats off. Many of us have not been as fortunate. So what do we all settle for?? Sexual gratification of course. It is a natural instinct of humans and other lifeforms to seek out love but it is also natural for us to seek out a means of reproduction and mutual enjoyment in most cases which is sex. Now most of the times in order for this to take place we are by some strange force led to begin with the famous three words "I Love You". This in it self is not totally false but it is not true either. We all know though (or at least we all should) that as long as it is not the full truth it is a lie. There are no grey spots in the mix. The reason why this is simply a half truth was already layed out to you above (recap if you must). The type of love portayed in the statement "I Love You" nowadays , is none other than Eros or sexual Love. The term was originally meant to be linked to the Agape or Philia love. This no longer is the case.
Sexual love is undoubtedly one of the chief things in life, and the union of mental and bodily satisfaction in the enjoyment of love is one of its culminating peaks. Apart from a few queer fanatics, all the world knows this and conducts its life accordingly; science alone is too delicate to admit it.
I am, I must confess, suspicious of those who denounce others for having ”too much” sex. At what point does a ”healthy” amount become ”too much” There are, of course, those who suffer because their desire for sex has become compulsive; in their case the drive (loneliness, guilt) is at fault, not the activity as such. When ”morality” is discussed I invariably discover, halfway into the conversation, that what is meant are not the great ethical questions but the rather dreary business of sexual habit, which to my mind is an aesthetic rather than an ethical issue.
In closing I leave you with this "Regardless of economics, race or status, people value love and recognize that love will shape what is good and true."
Now most, or rather all of us have loved and have been loved at some point in our lives. Some have been lucky enough to have found their special person and are experiencing all the different forms of love in their lives. Kudos to you, Hats off. Many of us have not been as fortunate. So what do we all settle for?? Sexual gratification of course. It is a natural instinct of humans and other lifeforms to seek out love but it is also natural for us to seek out a means of reproduction and mutual enjoyment in most cases which is sex. Now most of the times in order for this to take place we are by some strange force led to begin with the famous three words "I Love You". This in it self is not totally false but it is not true either. We all know though (or at least we all should) that as long as it is not the full truth it is a lie. There are no grey spots in the mix. The reason why this is simply a half truth was already layed out to you above (recap if you must). The type of love portayed in the statement "I Love You" nowadays , is none other than Eros or sexual Love. The term was originally meant to be linked to the Agape or Philia love. This no longer is the case.
Sexual love is undoubtedly one of the chief things in life, and the union of mental and bodily satisfaction in the enjoyment of love is one of its culminating peaks. Apart from a few queer fanatics, all the world knows this and conducts its life accordingly; science alone is too delicate to admit it.
I am, I must confess, suspicious of those who denounce others for having ”too much” sex. At what point does a ”healthy” amount become ”too much” There are, of course, those who suffer because their desire for sex has become compulsive; in their case the drive (loneliness, guilt) is at fault, not the activity as such. When ”morality” is discussed I invariably discover, halfway into the conversation, that what is meant are not the great ethical questions but the rather dreary business of sexual habit, which to my mind is an aesthetic rather than an ethical issue.
In closing I leave you with this "Regardless of economics, race or status, people value love and recognize that love will shape what is good and true."
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