You sunk my Battleship (A Review)

Okay let me start by saying, I don't usually do movie reviews but this one irked me. With that being said, onto the meat of the matter.


Now apparently this was intended to be a sci-fi/action type of movie with killer effects and acting and whatnot. In actuality it was a load of shit. No matter what you say or do that's the way I feel about it. Most of you who watched it and give it good reviews are probably doing so based on the fact that Rhianna was present or you actually enjoyed the movie which I find hard to believe. Some factors which made me hate this movie include but are not limited to: Crappy acting, Transparent plot, Forced Humour etc. this is not and never will be a good combination. Now lets talk about Rhi Rhi for a bit. She served absolutely no purpose in the movie whatsoever. The fact that with or without her it would have sucked is a testament to that. She literally CANNOT act. Every line she spoke seemed robotic and almost as if she wasn't sure if they were the correct lines, she looked almost frightened when acting. The jokes were not funny at all thus we have forced humour which I detest. The only good point I could find in the movie was the CGI nothing else. Now even though the graphical aspect of it was on point, they all seemed to come str8 out of transformers. Almost as if they were stolen from Michael Bays stash of unused rigs. Most of the sound effects as well had a Transformer-esque feel to them. I was not amused. Now I kid you not when I say it took me almost an hour to watch the first 30 minutes of the movie. It was just plain boring. They should change the name from Battleship to Battleshit because that's all it was, a load of shit. Waste my damn time. I should also mention this, although I'm pissed that i wasted my time to watch the movie, it also irks my spirit to know that although I predicted the movie would suck (and it did) they ended up making my prediction true -_-. Anyways I guess that's all I really have to say. I'm not good at this movie review thing. Final note: Rhianna should not "try" to act in any other movie, for the sake of world peace. If her acting career was a Battleship, then it just sunk.

Acting: 2/10
CGI: 8/10
Plot: 1/10
Humour: Non-Existent

Overall Rating: Bootleg that shit