Celebrity Dick Riders

     Hey guys, its me again...on the agenda today we have "Dick Riders".... Yeah I Said It!! When I say dick riders however I dont mean it in a sexual manner. No not one bit, but before I actually get into the meat of the matter let me just say, I KNOW some of you who may (or may not) read this will take offence and blah blah blah but in all honesty I really could care less, Corns will be mashed! My blog, my opinion. With that being said... Lets get started shall we? :)

Lets Define Shit First

     To start I believe I should at least give you a definition of the term Dick Rider. Seeing however that I wont really care what you think in this here post I took the definition from a (should be) well known site. Urban Dictionary ... and it goes a little something like this:


     A dick rider is a person who is usually and overzealous mindless fan of anyone(be it a rapper, singer, athlete, music genre, band, or any given thing). A dick rider see's no flaw in whatever they are dick riding at the time, and if you happen to offer an opinion or simply not like whatever a dick rider likes, the dick rider will consider your a "hater" for offering your opinion.

     Most of the times dick riders are female fans of a band, rapper, or singer who constantly praises the graces of a music artist they never met, or are going to touch in that star's fame . Male dick riders are usually men who want to be or picks up the "swag" and attitude of their favorite artist, and they'll swear that's how they are (this is usually a phenomenon in the hip-hop culture)

     If you check this definition on the above mentioned site you will see where they say "All these definitions are wrong or half there" I believe however they are right on target. Lets move on...

Let The Rant Ensue

     In this day and age of technology where people are free to do a vast amount of things in the interwebs such as gain knowledge, socialize, watch movies, download music etc etc etc.... You have a select few (or vast majority, depending on how you look at it) people who chose to live their lives through others. These specimens are what I call Dick Riders. Now most of you may believe that I am looking at it the wrong way. "These people are just showing their adoration for the artistes", "they are just showing support", "they are just showing how much they love them"... NO! These are pure bred, pedigree Dick Riders.
     Take for example a Nicki Minaj fan (They will kill me if they read this lol). There are millions of fans of Nicki Minaj as we all know probably the same amount of haters but thats the beside the point. Now I will admit that Nicki has a few good songs and that's being generous. So give yourself a hand Nicki you have some good shit out there. Can you however actually make me believe that Stupid Hoe and Beez in the trap have ANY inkling of sense hidden within the depths of her words???? Now I dare you to say what I just said to any of her hardcore fans and prepare to bombarded with Death Threats, Racial Slurs and a whole spectrum worth of various disses and whatnot. Just go on twitter and Say something harsh with the #TeamBarbie or #PinkFriday or some other Nicki Minaj reference in it. Come on I DARE you. I remember one day Tony Matterhorn had a run in with a rabid group of them, it was entertaining to say the least. Those "barbs" are a feisty bunch and they were arguing over some seriously trivial shit. "Beez in the trap" though... Really people?? Really?

     If thats not bad enough you have people who LIVE on Kanyes dick. You check their timeline what do you see??? Kanye... Check their status update.... Kanye. BBM??? Kanye. Their display pics??? Kanye... Their entire music library??? Kanye. You ask these people any question in the world as long as it has to do with Kanye and they tell you the answer at the snap of a finger, ask them anything else however and its a task and a half. I have quite a few Kanye heads on my timeline and its not a pretty sight. Heck even Kanye rides his own dick.


     In accordance with this post and seeing that I am Jamaican I just HAVE to include you "Gaza" fans. Yes im gonna touch your nerves as well because you guys really irk me for some reason. Now we have all heard that Kartel was imprisoned and if you haven't heard well such is life, but he is in prison right? Okay good. Why is he in prison you ask??? Oh not for much really he just murdered some people.. No big deal. That's right, its no big deal, or at least that's how you people make it seem. From the very day he was imprisoned you've seen all his "Fans" talking about Free World Boss and all sorts of other little phrases all crying for his freedom. That is just stupid if you ask me. Sure he has a few good songs and again I will admit it I am not afraid to admit that I don't like all his songs either. My thing is this; Why is it that you KNOWING that this man is guilty of his crimes wanting him to walk free without doing his time???? Just so you can go out and enjoy your parties and such??? No care is given that he murdered someone as long as you get to have your fun??? Heights of stupidity if you ask me. I can almost bet that if it was an artiste who doesnt interest you as much that did said killings he would be in jail with no one screaming for his release. You guys need to set your priorities straight. Not only the fans in this case but also the rest of the jamaican artistes. Its as if they literally cant seem to throw out the usual amount of music they used to until Kartel gets released. It looks to me like he needs to say some controversial shit to get everybody thinking.

General Stuff

     With all that being said and done, you have Dick Riders on a whole, whose lives literally revolve around these celebs. They dress like them walk like them act and even talk like them. They wake up in the morning and the first thing they do is check the latest updates made by them. If a celebrity doesn't update then they are mostly likely to lose their minds or cant go on with their day. Its as if whatever they do relies solely on what their Celeb crush says and does. Really quite pitiful if you ask me. You people cant think for yourselves you have people who don't even know you think for you. You really think they care about you??? They only care about their money and fame. These celebs are just normal people, just like you and me. The main difference is just that they have money and that's all. Take it away and try to find something different and you wont. You guys need to just calm down and lower your sex drives a bit and stop riding their dicks.

Final Words 

     So yeah, that's my two cents about the whole matter. This post should have been done sometime ago but I just couldn't think it through properly till now. Even now as I type I wonder if I did this correctly but its whatever. Now you are free to post your hate and disgust for the way I spoke about your beloved artistes but I really could care less. You all know its true. Anyway though I'm gonna go ahead and post this now. Adios Muchachos

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  1. I am glad someone post this because I hate dick riders!!! If you put greasy overalls on these celeberties and put them to work at a tire shop woman would not even look twice at them. I am guessing people have no since of self taste and achievement and that is sad

    1. My point exactly lol :b they are no different from everyone else save for the fact they have a ton of money and their talents are recognized on a large scale


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