Agreements Before Sex....... They May Save You One Day :)

We have all had that one person who complains about this and that when it comes to a one night stand, booty call, one time fling etc. Frankly some of these people can be VEEERY annoying and as such contracts / agreements have been drafted to help prevent these annoyances from occuring. Below you will see the SAFETY CERTIFICATE and the BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT. The first being the safety certificate designed for us fellows who happen to find a young lady and take her home the ones who try and trick you into being fathers or ones who try to scandal you in court. Carrying on about how they were drugged and the sort THAT contract will dissolve those problems. The booty call on the other hand is basically laying out the rules of its namesake. You may print these agreements and use at your leisure. Remember "When You Fuck, Fuck RESPONSIBLY" 

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Safety Certificate

This Certifies that I, the undersigned female, am about to enjoy sexual Intercourse with Brady A. Brown. I am above the age of consent, I am in my right mind and not under the influence of any drug or narcotic whatsoever. He did not use threats or promises to influence me. I am in no fear of him whatsoever, I do not expect or want to marry him I also do not know whether he is married or not and I do not care. I am not asleep or drunk entering into this business. I am here because i want to be, i love it and want it just as much as he does. 

If I receive the satisfaction i expect, I am willing to plan a return engagement. Furthermore, I agree never to appear as a witness against him or to prosecute under the Mann Act.

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Booty Call Agreement

This Booty Call Agreement (hereinafter reffered to as "The Agreement") is entered into on the _____ day of _________ in the year _______ between ___________________ and ______________________

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

1. No sleeping overs - Unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.

2. No meeting in public, except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening (when absolutely necessary)

3. No calls before 9 pm, we really dont have anything to talk about unless we wish to schedule another meeting

4. No emotional discussion about where this thing is headed or potential love blossoming etc.

5. No plans made in advance thats why we're each others "backup". An out of town hook up is an exception to the rule and even then it is a One Time In Advance Call.

6. No baby talk HOWEVER dirty is satisfactory it is matter of factly encouraged.

7. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK.

8.No falling asleep right after sex, If it's over we pack up and get our asses to our SEPARATE homes.

9.We Hook Up absolutely whenever the mood strikes both of us, NO REPEAT REQUESTS

10. Doggie Style is the position of preference and choice, the less eye contact the better

EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS

The aforementioned rules may ONLY be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter ANY terms of this Agreement, it will auomatically become Null and Void and the offender will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone, memory and email lists; blocked from all communications until he/she understands and learns to conform to the rules of this Agreement.

PARTICIPATING PARTNERS:_______________________________________________________________

Signatures: __________________________ ___________________________

Date: ______________________________

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