Nursery Rhymes: The Truth (Part 1)

     A somewhat deviated line of thought from my normal posts...but then of course do I ever post anything normal??? Anyway this post is basically about nursery rhymes and seeing them from a different perspective. Some of you may have seen them this way before or maybe not but after this maybe you will start to think more openly the you previously thought possible. Lol Look at me trying to make this sound like some major breakthrough in psychological science smh :) Lets get started shall we?

NOTE: This should all be taken in fun. Dont come asking me where I got information and to prove anything true and what not. Just read it, have your laughs enjoy be merry and all that good stuff then share and let someone else have their laughs. As You Were.

Jack and Jill

     To kick things off how about we start with one of the more famous ones? Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after
     Seems innocent enough right???? How about this then...why in the world are they going up a hill to fetch water??? Water runs downhill right???? The way I see it, things would have been much easier for them if they got it from a source lower down. So there is obviously some hidden motive to them going up the hill right???? Right. "Jack fell down and broke his crown"... We KNOW this cant be a literal crown because no prince I have ever heard of ever went to fetch his own water, hence this crown is figurative. The way I see it the crown here could only be talking about his virginity. It is then a given that as someone having sex for the first time gets overly excited and doesnt last very long. "Jack fell down"... he came and was no longer erect basically. Such being the case "Jill came tumbling after" simply means she reached orgasm after him. Thus it is in this regard I prefer this clever more precise version of the rhyme:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke some marijuana
Jack got high unzipped his fly
And said Jill do you wanna...
Jill said yes took off her dress
And they did the hanky panky
But Jill forgot to pop the pill
And out popped little Franky

Humpty Dumpty

     The next Nursery Rhyme I present to you is the famous Humpty Dumpty:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the kings horses and all the kings men
Couldn't put Humpty together again
So after having read that the first question that come to mind is: Why was he up on the wall in the first place???? Well the answer is simple, Humpty Dumpty is a peeping tom. *sips tea* Yes a peeping tom. Can any one hazard a guess as to WHO exactly he was peeping at??? Go ahead... one guess... i'll wait. No one??? He was checking out the Queen of course. Unbeknownst to him however the king was there that day and happened to spot him. Humpty in his frightened state, trying to escape from the King he fell. The King however thinking he had gotten away sent his soldiers after him. When they arrived on the scene however they found him lying on the ground...dead. THAT is how the story goes, the nursery rhyme was a simple cover up job by the government....

See you when part 2 comes out :p

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